Sunday, January 22, 2012

bad weather = bad hip days

I am SOOOOOO tired of the temperature being below 0 degrees F. It is cold, VERY cold.

I left work on Friday and as I was walking out, I thought to myself, "man it is FINALLY getting warm," then I got to my car and the temp was -4 degrees F.  let me clarify.... THIS IS NOT WARM.

No wonder my hip hurts. It hurts like hell.

I can try and blame: standing at my kids snow machine races, sitting at my desk/in meetings, or the fact that I have to be in the car longer... I could blame that.

Or, I could suck it up and realize that is THAT couple with the brain-numbing-freezing-cold weather we have been dealing with for the last couple weeks.

 I took it easy today. Didn't do much. Still hurting like hell.

This sucks and I am staring to think that any surgery possibility won't be until May.... aghghghghghhhh.

whadya do?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

wondering some more....

perhaps I shouldn't be looking (and waiting) for the best surgeon...




I should be looking for the surgeon who it willing to throw in a little lypo on the thighs and tummy - since they would be cutting and breaking stuff in there anyway. Tidy it all up, right????

pshhhhhhh, least they can do it make up for the fact that I won't be able to run off the calories I like to eat and DRINK.


ignoring the obvious...

My in'laws yard... after storm #1

The steps up to my front door mid second storm....
 Out at the cabin... when the temperature is...........
-22 degrees F... (last weekend)

This morning....

Obviously not going anywhere, anytime soon.

There was a blizzard (or two), then it got really cold, and now it has settled.

Walking through deep snow while your hip hurts because it is brutally cold. It hurts a lot.

it makes you wonder........
why do I live here?
why don't I go where it is warm?
why am I waiting, scared and terrified of a surgery that could potentially help?
what if the surgery doesn't work?
what if the pain never goes away?

what if I can't live here anymore because this damage is irreparable and I will always feel this bad.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

darn weather...

I live in Alaska... so I am not "new to snow." But since this summer and my recent move... weather offers a new perspective...

I moved from the east-side of Anchorage to the south-side or Hillside, as some would describe it. We live on the side of a mountain. There are a limited number of houses that are actually higher than ours in this area of the Chugach Range. I love it. It is quiet, we have a view, and the kids can ride their snowmachines between our property and our neighbors (brother & sister-in laws home). So far we love it.

However.... this winter... is ranking pretty high up there in inches of snow and # of crazy winter storms. We have officially exceeded the "average yearly snowfall" and it is only January. We still have 3-4 months left to accumulate more!

For some people, this may not be a problem. Sure - it sucks to drive to work in and can often disrupt plans and lives. But for someone with a bad hip... it means much more.

I have never paid a significant amount of attention when I have heard people state "this cold, or this weather, really makes my joints hurt." It never meant too much to me, at least I never noticed.

It means something different now. I first notice it a month or so ago. Our temps got down below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I will admit that is cold. I will also admit that I was having a SIGNIFICANT amount of pain. Initially it didn't occur to me that it could be a result of the significant damage to my joint that I have only recently been aware of. Well now... I know it is.

We have had several crazy weather systems that have moved in and out in the past month or so. Temps have ranged from -20 to 40. Yes, I moved in that time and probably overstressed myself a bit.

But I will never deny or second guess the effect the weather has on my already damaged hip.

#hoping the remaining winter weather is mild and hoping for an early summer!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

new year, no new plan

I still don't know when anything is going down...

I still have my "appt" on Feb 16th. I can't seem to cancel it, even though I know with certainty, that I will not have surgery that trip. Dr. Mayo is completely booked for January and February - making up appts for people from November and December that had to be rescheduled due to his own bakc surgery.

I do know that he agrees with my diagnosis of hip dysplasia. I was also told that I wouldn't even be considered as a patient if my records didn't indicate the potential need. So despite the awesome pain I am in daily, I now have confirmation from two doctors that there is something wrong with my hip - not just my head.

I am okay with the thought of going down and being told that this surgery isn't my best possible outcome (inappropriate, too much damage, etc....) What I am more concerned about is... flying down there for a consult and having the Dr. say "yes, you really need this surgery, BUT, I can't schedule you for it for another couple months. So, yes, you will have to fly back down, and it will cost you a lot of money"

It just sucks. I know he is good, and likely worth the wait... but the wait/pain is killing me.

I feel like I am in limbo. My original orthopedic physician has referred me on (written me off) to an orthopedic surgeon. The orthopedics surgeon, who doesn't want to do the arthroscopy- because it isn't the entire cause of the injury/pain, has referred me on and pretty much written me off... Now I have a potential surgeon... one, I have never met, and one, who.... can't even tell me anything more BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER SEEN ME.

all of this sucks and I have no real good updates... I am tired, in pain, and completely frustrated with it all. I know I should feel lucky that I was even diagnosed this early in my pain stages and have a POTENTIAL plan of action... but this phase of it, the not knowing/having a plan... is killing me.