I hate pity parties.
Don't get me wrong... I vent, I whine, I complain, I bitch. Whatever you want to call it - I do it. That isn't what I am talking about. You know what I am talking about. It is the sitting around, unshowered, eating crap, crying to anyone who will listen about how completely devastating your life is at THAT VERY MOMENT. Nothing else matters. It's selfish. It's unproductive. It's consuming, so consuming it pulls other people in. What I hate about it, is that it doesn't serve any purpose and it makes you lose all perspective. It is simply an adult version of 2-year-old pouting.
I am doing it right now... and yes, I still hate it. I am probably guilty of doing it many times (especially on this blog) more often than I actually admit... Whadya do? Ya give into it... cause it won't go away until you do. Maybe that is the purpose.
My arms hurt. They hurt because I have been using both crutches. I am using both crutches because I popped my hip out. I popped my hip out knocking snow off my shoe. Snow, it is always freaking snowing. I never ran in the snow it was cold. It's not really cold now but it's freaking snowing... still. Now all I see are people running in the snow and I wanna do it but can't. Why would I want to do it? It's a FREE workout and it WAS freeing. I can't afford a gym membership to work out. I have nothing to free me. I am irritable and crabby. The only workout I can wrap my head around right now is swimming. Can't afford swimming so I don't work out. I haven't worked out in months. My arms are going to hurt more after surgery... and....
repeat circle of pouting...
But that's where I am at right now and I hate it.
someone bring me some Hagen Daas Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream... please.
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