I am SOOOOOO tired of the temperature being below 0 degrees F. It is cold, VERY cold.
I left work on Friday and as I was walking out, I thought to myself, "man it is FINALLY getting warm," then I got to my car and the temp was -4 degrees F. let me clarify.... THIS IS NOT WARM.
No wonder my hip hurts. It hurts like hell.
I can try and blame: standing at my kids snow machine races, sitting at my desk/in meetings, or the fact that I have to be in the car longer... I could blame that.
Or, I could suck it up and realize that is THAT couple with the brain-numbing-freezing-cold weather we have been dealing with for the last couple weeks.
I took it easy today. Didn't do much. Still hurting like hell.
This sucks and I am staring to think that any surgery possibility won't be until May.... aghghghghghhhh.
whadya do?
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
wondering some more....
perhaps I shouldn't be looking (and waiting) for the best surgeon...
maybe...
just...
maybe...
I should be looking for the surgeon who it willing to throw in a little lypo on the thighs and tummy - since they would be cutting and breaking stuff in there anyway. Tidy it all up, right????
pshhhhhhh, least they can do it make up for the fact that I won't be able to run off the calories I like to eat and DRINK.
Right?!?!
maybe...
just...
maybe...
I should be looking for the surgeon who it willing to throw in a little lypo on the thighs and tummy - since they would be cutting and breaking stuff in there anyway. Tidy it all up, right????
pshhhhhhh, least they can do it make up for the fact that I won't be able to run off the calories I like to eat and DRINK.
Right?!?!
ignoring the obvious...
The steps up to my front door mid second storm....
This morning....
Obviously not going anywhere, anytime soon.
There was a blizzard (or two), then it got really cold, and now it has settled.
Walking through deep snow while your hip hurts because it is brutally cold. It hurts a lot.
it makes you wonder........
why do I live here?
why don't I go where it is warm?
why am I waiting, scared and terrified of a surgery that could potentially help?
what if the surgery doesn't work?
what if the pain never goes away?
what if I can't live here anymore because this damage is irreparable and I will always feel this bad.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
darn weather...
I live in Alaska... so I am not "new to snow." But since this summer and my recent move... weather offers a new perspective...
I moved from the east-side of Anchorage to the south-side or Hillside, as some would describe it. We live on the side of a mountain. There are a limited number of houses that are actually higher than ours in this area of the Chugach Range. I love it. It is quiet, we have a view, and the kids can ride their snowmachines between our property and our neighbors (brother & sister-in laws home). So far we love it.
However.... this winter... is ranking pretty high up there in inches of snow and # of crazy winter storms. We have officially exceeded the "average yearly snowfall" and it is only January. We still have 3-4 months left to accumulate more!
For some people, this may not be a problem. Sure - it sucks to drive to work in and can often disrupt plans and lives. But for someone with a bad hip... it means much more.
I have never paid a significant amount of attention when I have heard people state "this cold, or this weather, really makes my joints hurt." It never meant too much to me, at least I never noticed.
It means something different now. I first notice it a month or so ago. Our temps got down below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I will admit that is cold. I will also admit that I was having a SIGNIFICANT amount of pain. Initially it didn't occur to me that it could be a result of the significant damage to my joint that I have only recently been aware of. Well now... I know it is.
We have had several crazy weather systems that have moved in and out in the past month or so. Temps have ranged from -20 to 40. Yes, I moved in that time and probably overstressed myself a bit.
But I will never deny or second guess the effect the weather has on my already damaged hip.
#hoping the remaining winter weather is mild and hoping for an early summer!
I moved from the east-side of Anchorage to the south-side or Hillside, as some would describe it. We live on the side of a mountain. There are a limited number of houses that are actually higher than ours in this area of the Chugach Range. I love it. It is quiet, we have a view, and the kids can ride their snowmachines between our property and our neighbors (brother & sister-in laws home). So far we love it.
However.... this winter... is ranking pretty high up there in inches of snow and # of crazy winter storms. We have officially exceeded the "average yearly snowfall" and it is only January. We still have 3-4 months left to accumulate more!
For some people, this may not be a problem. Sure - it sucks to drive to work in and can often disrupt plans and lives. But for someone with a bad hip... it means much more.
I have never paid a significant amount of attention when I have heard people state "this cold, or this weather, really makes my joints hurt." It never meant too much to me, at least I never noticed.
It means something different now. I first notice it a month or so ago. Our temps got down below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I will admit that is cold. I will also admit that I was having a SIGNIFICANT amount of pain. Initially it didn't occur to me that it could be a result of the significant damage to my joint that I have only recently been aware of. Well now... I know it is.
We have had several crazy weather systems that have moved in and out in the past month or so. Temps have ranged from -20 to 40. Yes, I moved in that time and probably overstressed myself a bit.
But I will never deny or second guess the effect the weather has on my already damaged hip.
#hoping the remaining winter weather is mild and hoping for an early summer!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
new year, no new plan
I still don't know when anything is going down...
I still have my "appt" on Feb 16th. I can't seem to cancel it, even though I know with certainty, that I will not have surgery that trip. Dr. Mayo is completely booked for January and February - making up appts for people from November and December that had to be rescheduled due to his own bakc surgery.
I do know that he agrees with my diagnosis of hip dysplasia. I was also told that I wouldn't even be considered as a patient if my records didn't indicate the potential need. So despite the awesome pain I am in daily, I now have confirmation from two doctors that there is something wrong with my hip - not just my head.
I am okay with the thought of going down and being told that this surgery isn't my best possible outcome (inappropriate, too much damage, etc....) What I am more concerned about is... flying down there for a consult and having the Dr. say "yes, you really need this surgery, BUT, I can't schedule you for it for another couple months. So, yes, you will have to fly back down, and it will cost you a lot of money"
It just sucks. I know he is good, and likely worth the wait... but the wait/pain is killing me.
I feel like I am in limbo. My original orthopedic physician has referred me on (written me off) to an orthopedic surgeon. The orthopedics surgeon, who doesn't want to do the arthroscopy- because it isn't the entire cause of the injury/pain, has referred me on and pretty much written me off... Now I have a potential surgeon... one, I have never met, and one, who.... can't even tell me anything more BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER SEEN ME.
all of this sucks and I have no real good updates... I am tired, in pain, and completely frustrated with it all. I know I should feel lucky that I was even diagnosed this early in my pain stages and have a POTENTIAL plan of action... but this phase of it, the not knowing/having a plan... is killing me.
I still have my "appt" on Feb 16th. I can't seem to cancel it, even though I know with certainty, that I will not have surgery that trip. Dr. Mayo is completely booked for January and February - making up appts for people from November and December that had to be rescheduled due to his own bakc surgery.
I do know that he agrees with my diagnosis of hip dysplasia. I was also told that I wouldn't even be considered as a patient if my records didn't indicate the potential need. So despite the awesome pain I am in daily, I now have confirmation from two doctors that there is something wrong with my hip - not just my head.
I am okay with the thought of going down and being told that this surgery isn't my best possible outcome (inappropriate, too much damage, etc....) What I am more concerned about is... flying down there for a consult and having the Dr. say "yes, you really need this surgery, BUT, I can't schedule you for it for another couple months. So, yes, you will have to fly back down, and it will cost you a lot of money"
It just sucks. I know he is good, and likely worth the wait... but the wait/pain is killing me.
I feel like I am in limbo. My original orthopedic physician has referred me on (written me off) to an orthopedic surgeon. The orthopedics surgeon, who doesn't want to do the arthroscopy- because it isn't the entire cause of the injury/pain, has referred me on and pretty much written me off... Now I have a potential surgeon... one, I have never met, and one, who.... can't even tell me anything more BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER SEEN ME.
all of this sucks and I have no real good updates... I am tired, in pain, and completely frustrated with it all. I know I should feel lucky that I was even diagnosed this early in my pain stages and have a POTENTIAL plan of action... but this phase of it, the not knowing/having a plan... is killing me.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
maybe not...
Okay, so I got too excited or simply misunderstood my communication with Dr. Mayo's office. I was originally told that if I was accepted as a referral then I would come down on a Tuesday or Thursday for the consult and pre-op appointment. Then my surgery would be the next day... So when the lady from Dr. Mayo's office called to schedule my appt - I assumed that meant I was given the green light for surgery. This MAY NOT be the case...
She called today and said she had talked to the Dr. and he stated that he would need to take new x-rays when I come down in February and that would determine whether or not I would have the surgery, but I wouldn't know until then. This has two determining factors: 1 - that the films show that I absolutely need the surgery and 2 - that there isn't so much damage that this surgery is not appropriate.
I am a little unnerved about flying down on an "unknown." There has got to be some indication on the x-rays that I already have that the surgery is warranted. I mean, come on, I can't really just fly down there to chat with the man and go over my history that is already in my file along with fairly current x-rays. I know he will likely do his own but he should be able to tell me something based on what I have already, right???!!!??
So I don't know. I am still going to go. Plan on the worst and hope for the best, right? I just don't know what is best anymore. I am living with a good amount of pain daily. So to go down there and hear that it isn't very bad and I don't need this surgery right now... that wouldn't be GOOD news. Then I would still be suck here, like I am now, with no relief in sight. I NEED next step - a productive next step.
sigh.....
She called today and said she had talked to the Dr. and he stated that he would need to take new x-rays when I come down in February and that would determine whether or not I would have the surgery, but I wouldn't know until then. This has two determining factors: 1 - that the films show that I absolutely need the surgery and 2 - that there isn't so much damage that this surgery is not appropriate.
I am a little unnerved about flying down on an "unknown." There has got to be some indication on the x-rays that I already have that the surgery is warranted. I mean, come on, I can't really just fly down there to chat with the man and go over my history that is already in my file along with fairly current x-rays. I know he will likely do his own but he should be able to tell me something based on what I have already, right???!!!??
So I don't know. I am still going to go. Plan on the worst and hope for the best, right? I just don't know what is best anymore. I am living with a good amount of pain daily. So to go down there and hear that it isn't very bad and I don't need this surgery right now... that wouldn't be GOOD news. Then I would still be suck here, like I am now, with no relief in sight. I NEED next step - a productive next step.
sigh.....
Friday, December 23, 2011
one step closer.....
So finally received some communication from Dr. Mayo's office. He has
accepted me as a patient. So that means my file was obviously bad
enough to warrant the surgery sight-unseen. o_O
Next she offered me three dates for my visit: the first three Thursdays in February. Yikes! I talked to her on the phone initially and she stated that they were beginning to schedule surgeries he already had booked for February. So again, I am either that bad or just lucky to be coming from out of state and needing his specialty surgery that gets First Class Priority (now if only I could fly to and from in First class...)
I was extremely excited to finally feel like this might be moving forwards but now... I am just freaked out. really freaked out
I need to go back to Hip Chicks and see if I can't send down some of the patient questions from a great resource! I feel like I am zooming forward now, spinning out of control and I don't know where/what I am heading to. I have a thousand questions in my head and I can not contain them until the day before surgery when I get to meet the man who will be breaking my pelvis for the first time. Even with an outstanding reputation... I don't know him from the guy that is now one of my neighbors, since we just moved! AGH.
Feb 16th. Right after Valentine's Day. Sounds fine. Let's do this.
Next she offered me three dates for my visit: the first three Thursdays in February. Yikes! I talked to her on the phone initially and she stated that they were beginning to schedule surgeries he already had booked for February. So again, I am either that bad or just lucky to be coming from out of state and needing his specialty surgery that gets First Class Priority (now if only I could fly to and from in First class...)
I was extremely excited to finally feel like this might be moving forwards but now... I am just freaked out. really freaked out
I need to go back to Hip Chicks and see if I can't send down some of the patient questions from a great resource! I feel like I am zooming forward now, spinning out of control and I don't know where/what I am heading to. I have a thousand questions in my head and I can not contain them until the day before surgery when I get to meet the man who will be breaking my pelvis for the first time. Even with an outstanding reputation... I don't know him from the guy that is now one of my neighbors, since we just moved! AGH.
Feb 16th. Right after Valentine's Day. Sounds fine. Let's do this.
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